He is an equal opportunity slut.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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