her vagine was all disorganized.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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