I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
