I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
sex in a hospital.. check
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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