I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
