It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
