did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
