Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
