It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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