I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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