he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
is wine microwaveable?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
