they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
