Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
