How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
