I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
