Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
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