So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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