I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Randomize
