Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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