STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize