I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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