Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
its not stalking. its research.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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