and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
