forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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