shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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