She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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