People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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