Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
