I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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