i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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