I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
i think im in europe. pls send help
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize