Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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