That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
It's official drugs can't kill me
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
