Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
the liver wants what the liver wants
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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