god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You dont lie about slip and slides
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
