I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
