she peed on how many people?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
