You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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