Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
