I am full of burrito and curiosity
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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