Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
