i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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