You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
