I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
