My brain says no but my pants say off.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
