ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
40s are totally the cure
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
