In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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