Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
