a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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