Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
