The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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