honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
