I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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