I want to stick my p in your. b.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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