Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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