sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
