I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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