Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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