I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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