I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
