I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
So here I am, sexting at work.
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